This past Wednesday, I shared with you, my gentle readers, four of my favorite pick-up lines from Classical Literature. It is Friday, and as I promised, here are the final four:
5. Confessions, Augustine of Hippo
“Late have I loved you, Beauty so ancient and so new, late have I loved you!…You called and cried aloud, and shattered my deafness; you flashed and blazed like lightning, and routed my blindness. You cast your fragrance, and I drew breath, yet pant for you; I tasted, yet hunger and thirst; you touched me, and I was on fire for your peace.” ~Augustine
Whew. Though Augustine wrote this to God, it’s still pretty sensual. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to be called a “Beauty so ancient and so new”? Plus, how do we know that he didn’t express the above sentiments to another human being at some point in his life? He was quite the player in his youth, if you know what I mean. He totally got a girl pregnant, then peaced out. But, thank goodness he started writing such exquisite things to God. It’s hard to pull crap on an omniscient being. So much better for him, the ladies, and the growth of the Christian church.
6. “Bernice Bobs Her Hair,” in Flappers and Philosophers, F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Do you think I ought to bob my hair?” ~Bernice
Oh beautiful, dull, awkward, Midwestern Bernice, trying to get the attention of champagne-guzzling, Ivy educated, easily distracted, Northeastern boys. The pick-up line, given to her by her worldly cousin Marjorie Harvey, does get those silly boys’ attention (like a lot), and almost leads Bernice into social suicide after she gets said bob (hint: Marjorie Harvey is a horrid, horrid human being). Though luckily for Bernice, when she loses her long, sumptuous locks, she finally finds her backbone.
7. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation [for loving Mr. Darcy]. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that it had begun.” ~Elizabeth Bennett
Pride and Prejudice has many wonderful pick-up lines in it, but this one, this one is my favorite. These three sentences always give me chills when I read them, and I’ve been reading them since I was twelve! I love Elizabeth’s honesty and awe as she reflects on the growth of her attachment to Darcy. But then, for me, that is the beauty of Elizabeth and Darcy in the first place. They challenge each other into spaces of deep introspection, and from those places of introspection, they both discover new things about themselves. A couple who is willing to self-reflect and learn from one another is a fine couple, indeed.
8. Much Ado About Nothing, William Shakespeare
“Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.” ~Benedick
Beatrice and Benedick, just the cutest in all of Messina. Here are two characters who have similar personalities and totally get one another. Benedick knows that he and Beatrice are high-spirited, witty, merry-makers who aren’t the types to get all moody, and googly-eyed about each other (::cough::cough:: Claudio and Hero). Wooing peaceably is so not their thang–and that’s what makes this line so charming. They see, and woo each other, just as they are.
And there you have it–eight of my all-time favorite pick-up lines from Classical Literature. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing about them! And, if you are at all inclined to use any or all of them, do use them with prudence. Happy Valentine’s Day!